Nerdgasm

Another tragic love story.

Brownie glanced around at the patrons of the party, and happened to make eye contact with Fudge. It was as if the heavens parted and a holy light flooded down from above. Fudge was normally a shy boy, but he had been having a rough day and felt the only way to turn it around to to be a bit daring. He stood up, made his way across the room, and said to pretty little Brownie, “Either your parents are two of the most beautiful people on this planet, or you were adopted.”

Brownie was used to men throwing themselves at her in such a manner as Fudge chose and never fell prey to their feeble attempts at romance. However, she could tell that there was something different about Fudge. Clearly, he was far out of his comfort zone, something she viewed as both courageous and endearing.

The lady of our story had, in fact, been adopted; but, she took no offense from Fudge’s pick up line. She instead used this to strike up a conversation. The two chatted for near an hour before deciding to head to a quieter location. An intimate diner, Puddin’pops, was just a few block’s walk away and was also the location the two chose to share the stories of their pasts, and the plans they held for the future. It was here when they first felt the creeping presence of love. And it was here where Fudge proposed to Brownie five years down the road.

After the marriage, Fudge and Brownie soon began making a family to call their own. First came the twins, Swiss and Roll. A few years later, when Cosmic was still just a little bun in the oven, Brownie’s doctor noticed something odd. During her ultrasound, he caught glimpse of some defined protrusions from the child’s body. Months later, Cosmic was born with peanuts inside of him, but the only threat they posed were to his appearance. After having feared for their son’s life, Fudge and Brownie were quick to take this lightheartedly. The family, including Cosmic himself, always made jokes; and on his fifteenth birthday, Cosmic received a refrigerator magnet which read, “Every family has a few nuts.”

And so, the story of Fudge and Brownie is a beautiful tale of true love. Of a bond between two which can never be broken. The two led long lives, caring for each other and the family they brought together.

Then I ate them both.