Nerdgasm

While I was at work today, part of my right buttcheek went numb.

If we are talking a standard graph here, I would plot the pain/numb sensation at the point where x=10 and y= -3. Just imagine a graph overlaying my ass and you’ll get it.

I couldn’t figure out why this was happening to me. My first thought said that this was happening because there is a bug in my pants. This instantly brought a wave of panic over me, because having a bug in my pants in a public place is one of my greatest fears.

After a few (very attention grabbing) hip gyrations, I ruled out my bug theory. This also ruled out any foreign object that might have made the journey to my delicates just to poke my right one. The only sensible explanation left was that my wallet had become hungry, for I hadn’t fed it in a while. Clearly, he finally gave up on cash and just started gnawing my ass.

Yes, this must be it.