I be wrapping boys up like pigs in blankets.
Sometimes looking at pretty people makes me sad.
I have clocked over seven hours of 90210 today and the line between television and reality is becoming blurred and my body is confused.
Call me Isaac Newton cause I can make dat ass drop.
I start brushing my teeth and I turn around and sort of like, half sit half lean on the counter. So when the paste is foaming up and it is time to spit, I think to myself, “Ugh, I’m too exhausted to even stand up again and turn around to spit. Wouldn’t it be so much easier if I could just swallow this and spit it out my butt (into the sink)?” I think I’m going to refer to poops as butt spits...
you keep waiting for the dust to settle and then you realize it; the dust is...
Professional studier for hire.
Being 21 is expensive.
Do you ever lie there and close one eye and the white wall appears blue-ish and when you switch eyes the white wall looks red-ish? What the shit is that about?
I AM SURROUNDED BY TWINKS.
Some choose to sing in the shower. I choose to...
I'm going to be sort of teaching a class next...
Possibly one of the most important lessons I have learned is to sip the water…never chug.
If I am going to share a bed with someone, it will have to be someone who realizes that not responding to a casual text message isn’t being rude.
Rolling in the Deep.
What's this? A cute boy to cuddle with as I drift...
Nope. Nope…that’s just a pillow.
Book Titles get italicized. Chapters get quotes.
Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone “The Boy Who Lived” This rule can basically be applied to anything with a similar structural make-up. 21 ”Rumor Has It” Kill Bill Vol.1 “The Man From Okinawa” New York Times “The Marvels in Your Mouth” (lawl) Journal of Applied Psychology “Too Much of a Good Thing: Curvilinear Relationships...
Hahahaha, some dude wa just singing on the Hoveround commercial about how much he loves his Hoveround and it takes him where he wants to go. He can’t sing. Television is 700% before 5am.
It’s 430 am, so when I turn the television onto the local channels, the only thing on are public service announcements. It only took three and I am crying. I - no. Just…no.
I just witnessed two bros fist bump in passing and if my sexual frustrations were ever to be visualized…that was it.
Whenever I am feeling blue, I remind myself that “happy” is the best way to be. And then I imagine myself as a four-dimensional transit between this world and the land of cotton candy love and glitter ponies and I am vomiting happiness and cheer all over this world. If that mental image ever fails to cheer me up, I am simply doomed.
I have so much respect for drag queens. Seriously. I just want to hug drag queens and have them protect me at all times.
Tonight I have learned that I get bored easily completely tune out when I get bored am basically all or nothing when it comes to being passionate test authority am constatnly trying to improve things don’t understand society and will be alone forever Basically, everything I already thought about myself just became actualized. Oh, and I have the same MBTI personality as Moriarty.
Why is a douchebag more attractive when surrounded...
They said not to let anything keep me from my dreams so I bought a two pound bag of lettuce.
Shall we all just take a moment and remember that Hellogoodbye was once a thing?
I just woke up to a scene from skins and it is...
Electric Guest - This Head I Hold I am underwear...
Tonight I witnessed what I can only describe as a poor rendition of MTV’s Next. It is just as awkward on the dance floor as it is on the television screen.
The heater stops working and I instantly become a...
I have no idea what is going on in my essay or in my life and beer is the answer.
Logan Lerman is my valentine.
…he just isn’t quite aware of the situation yet.